Do I Give Him One More Chance?

Does it depend upon how sorry he is, or advice from friends, your gut feeling or his personality type? Let's take each one of these four possible ways forward and just look at how useful they actually are in answering one of the most difficult questions on the planet. I'll give each Amolatina.com Reviews one a score from 1 - 10, 10 being highly useful and 1 being totally useless.

 

As a relationship counselor I have helped solve this question many times over. Every time is different, and every case is completely unique. The most important thing is what works best for you, but lets just look at what really is useful or not.

 

How Sorry Is He? (Usefulness Rating: 3)

 

Should this be a yard stick of whether you give him one more chance? For many women it is. But does the extent to which a person is sorry relate in any way to whether they change? You would think Amolatina so wouldn't you. It feels like this is the way it should work; you do something wrong and are so sorry it has a profound and lasting effect. I'm sure sometimes this is exactly the case, but a quick glance at available research will tell you that being sorry does not correlate to change. If it did our prisons would only be half full.

 

The problem with "sorry", as you might remember when you were a kid, is that it wears off and as soon as it wears off we're back to square one. Nothing has changed. Lots of us that do something wrong are sorry, but experience and common sense, as well as clinical research, tell us that it rarely effects long term change.

 

Advice From Friends (Usefulness Rating: 1)

 

When we are vulnerable we are even more susceptible to the opinions and advice of the people around us, which is a shame. In the spirit of trying to help, friends will give advice based upon Amolatina.com their experiences. This is fine as long as your situation is exactly, exactly the same as theirs, which is fairly unlikely.

 

What tends to happen when listening to the advice of friends is that your dilemma simply becomes voiced by real people. One friend will tell you to give them one more chance, and the next friend will tell you to dump them, while you oscillate backwards and forwards unable to decide.

 

Gut Feeling (Usefulness Rating: 7)

 

What we know as "gut feelings" are surprisingly accurate. Our intuition has developed over millennia as a way to keep us alive, to keep us sharp and to make the right decisions in the most stressful of situations. Although it flies in the face of established scientific research it cannot easily be ignored.

 

The difficult thing is recognizing our gut feelings for what they are. It's tempting to ignore them, or even worse, misinterpret desire for intuition. Listen to your gut, not your heart.

 

Personality Type (Usefulness Rating: 8)

 

Show me an accurate personality profile and I will tell you exactly whether you should give him one more chance. This isn't because I'm on commission for selling personality profiles, but simply because good, state of the art clinical profiles give excellent, state of the art information. Based upon this it is possible to give accurate information about the likelihood that people will change, or not.

 

If you really want to find out whether you should give him one more chance, I would take him to the nearest clinical psychologist and make him sit a comprehensive personality test, not the usual questionnaires dished out by HR departments, but scientifically proven instruments that are used by forensic scientists to convict murderers (not that your partner is a murderer I hasten to add, I hope). Make him fill out something commonly known amongst licensed psychologists as "The Millon" and look up his Anti Social rating, if it's over 65 get rid of him as quick as you can and don't believe a word he says.

 

I hope these ideas have been helpful in thinking about the most difficult question on the planet. If you are wrestling with this problem right now, give yourself as much time as you need and perhaps try reading how others have overcome similar dilemmas. The longer you give it, usually the clearer it gets. If that still doesn't work don't hesitate to find some help from an experienced and qualified counselor.